I'll never forget........

I was on my way to work and had stopped into 7-11 for a cup of coffee. I was in uniform, so the clerk asked if I had heard about the plane crash. After a short conversation, I left with the same impression that Cindy had; I though that it must have been a small plane, surely a Cesna or something along those lines. When I got to work a few minutes later, Gene (the fella that I was relieving) was glued to the TV. I knew Gene well enough to know that he almost never has the TV on in the morning, much less sits in front of it.

Anyway, Gene looked up at me and said "can you believe this #@$&" (Gene doesn't curse much either). I stood there in absolute disbelief at what I was seeing, it just couldn't be happening!

As the minutes passed, I began to think about what our brothers (FDNY) must be going through and what an insurmountable task lay before them. It was about then that the second plane hit. I remember sitting there in the chair.......breathing.......breathing.......at least I must have been breathing since I'm still here. Then I became aware of the phone ringing, ringing, ringing. It was my workday calling! I had completely forgotten where I was.

The next thing that I remember is crying when the Tower 2 came crashing down. There must be hundreds, if not thousands of people in there! I wondered immediately how many firefighters must have been caught in the collapse. I remember thinking that the other one is coming down in a few minutes......get out....GET OUT!

I spent the rest of the day driving from station to station and doing some peer counseling. As you can imagine, our gang was pissed! Many of them wanted BLOOD, and they wanted it NOW! How could anyone do this to America....to civilians.......to our FDNY Brothers! Most were in shock. We had a difficult time understanding what had just happened, much less trying to make some sense of it.

I can't tell you how many times I talked with Merideth and the kids that day. It's all kind of a blur after that morning. But, I know that we found some solace in each others voice. I remember for days afterwards, the absence of airplanes in the sky. And, even more so......the first time that I saw an airliner after the flight ban was lifted. For months, each time I heard a jet overhead I would look up and wonder......is it happening again?

The next morning I went home and cried with Merideth as we watched New Yorkers suffer through the disaster. We had some of our folks that were deployed to assist with the initial searches at ground zero, and wondered what they must be going through.

Yesterday, and each September 11th since 2001 I get to participate in a memorial ceremony at the New York / New York Hotel along with about a hundred local firefighters. I can tell you that each year....the emotions are there. And, that I will never forget the day that 3,000 innocent civilians were murdered and 343 fireman died in the line of duty.

Thanks for letting me share.

Tim